Creating New Habits

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As I speed toward 10 months of sobriety and away from my 47th birthday, ideas of creating new habits drive at me like a horizontal rain. The words mindfulness and patience keep finding their way through the vortex of ideas, scenarios, thoughts and songs that assault me hourly.

I’m the person who refuses to budge from the warm spot on the couch because I’m comfortable even though I’ve had to pee for an hour.  I’m the person who can stay busy all day in my hoodie and sweats and accomplish absolutely nothing of significance and go to bed happy.  I’m the person who has still not quite grasped the fact that I don’t have to like to do something to do it anyway.  This is especially true when it comes to exercise and – well – anything that makes me uncomfortable.

I suppose it’s not surprising that after 19 years of heavy daily drinking, it’s taking me a moment to acclimate to life without alcohol and withdrawals (because I was either drinking or sick.  One wouldn’t think a person could get used to that … ).  I don’t miss alcohol and I certainly don’t miss withdrawal, but I thought I’d have it all in the bag by now.  I don’t. I see that there is a part to me (it’s small but loud) that is resisting creating a new life and getting out there.  It’s busy and hectic and a little chaotic and unpredictable out there.  I’ve even moved to the Oregon coast to get away from the frantic energy of the city.  But I think I got used to being unproductive.  19 years is a long time to sink into a habit and particular ways of thinking.  Today I want to be productive and disciplined, but I’m not quite sure how.

H1

~Heraclitus~

I’ve got to act my way into new behavior.

New behaviors will become second nature.

Unconscious competence!

So far, my new habits include showering and preparing my coffee at night. Those look innocent and easy enough, right?  Hell no!  I fight with myself come 8pm every night.  I’ve also had to put my vitamins in the refrigerator next to the powered vanilla creamer because that’s the only way I remember to make myself take them.  Leaving them out on the counter in front of the coffee maker wasn’t enough – all I did was push them aside. What is that?

I’m monitoring my reactions to these new habits I’m creating and it’s funny.  I’m funny.  I am clearly infringing on the personal space of the part of me that did not ask for any of this.  On the other hand – something within is yearning for new routines.  What is this crazy dichotomy?  I do not know.

Now – if I can just work myself up to tossing aside a mere 30 minutes a day, five days a week, for cardio and lifting – I’ll be able to say I have some pretty cool things in the bag!  They’re small, but they count.

How do I prevent myself from falling back into old lazy behaviors?

HALT – don’t allow myself to get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.  I learned this in my first treatment center and it’s logical that it’d work for me (or anyone anywhere for that matter) today.

Aristotle

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Recovery Coaching

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Straight from the mouth of Wikipedia – “Recovery coaching is a form of strengths-based support for persons with addictions or in recovery from alcohol, other drugs, codependency, or other addictive behaviors. Recovery coaches work with persons with active addictions as well as persons already in recovery.”

Coaching is not therapy and it is not sponsoring.  Clinical issues (past traumas) and 12 Step work are not addressed.  The idea behind coaching is partnership and collaboration.  It’s all about you (the client) and your agenda.  It’s about topics you’re facing in the present and it’s about goals you’d like to set, and then set out to tackle.

Coaching is an adventure, and all it requires on your part is a willingness to move from the thinking stage to the action stage.99

People might share the same path, but no two people can occupy the same space.

:)

I welcome your questions.

 

New Book Review + Ken Venturi Quote

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I don’t believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be. ~ Ken Venturi
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5.0 out of 5 stars Valuable,Informative memoir,March 20, 2012 By dori
This review is from: Saturation (Kindle Edition)

I loved this book. A Well written,discriptive,honest journey into the mind of an alcoholic.Anyone who has someone in their life that struggles with Alcoholism will get a wealth of information from this book. Now This is the type of book they should give out at Al-non.

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Thanks Dori!

Most Recent Review of Saturation on Goodreads.Com

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Teresa‘s review

Oct 21, 11
 
5 of 5 stars
Read in October, 2011

 

Personal recollection of authors struggle with addiction and what its like from a first hand account of struggling through the battle of recovery and relapse. The struggles to fight the itch to keep going and not to keep letting that itch be scratched as the author describes it best. i really liked the authors description of what addiction is and the battle is to fight it day in and day it. Her description was amazing. I am sorry she had such struggles though it has mad her who she is today and without those struggles she would not be that person. I am happy she has accomplished her goal of writing a book and hope that she continues on her journey in recovery and becomes whoever and whatever she dreams of being. i also am glad her dad was able to eventually understand more than what he understood in the beginning as sometimes it is so hard for people on the outside to understand addiction. Jennifer you are a strong women and I hope you continue to be who you want to be. You did a great job writing this and inspire me as you wanted something and set the goal and though struggled to obtain it you made it. Thanks for allowing me to receive this book through smashwords.
 
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Thanks Teresa!

I Think This Might Make Me A Tad Nervous+ D.H. Lawrence Quote

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America is neither free nor brave, but a land of tight, iron-clanking little wills, everybody trying to put it over everybody else, and a land of men absolutely devoid of the real courage of trust, trust in life’s sacred spontaneity. They can’t trust life until they can control it. ~ D.H. Lawrence

A friendly reminder ~ the paperback version of my memoir, Saturation, is on sale.  I’ve got a box of ’em here at the house.  Email nefarioustwinkle@yahoo.com or leave a comment here.  Also – for those of you who have purchased a copy of either version – would you mind terribly leaving a review either here: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11241161-saturation or on the site where you purchased the book?  You can also leave a review at the Amazon Kindle Store.

Thanks much ~ Jennifer

M2-9 Wings Of A Butterfly Nebula + William James Quote

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Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. ~ William James

Explanation: Are stars better appreciated for their art after they die?  Actually, stars usually create their most artistic displays as they die.  In the case of low-mass stars like our Sun and M2-9 pictured above,  the stars transform themselves from normal stars to white dwarfs by casting off their outer gaseous envelopes. The expended gas frequently forms an impressive display called a planetary nebula that fades gradually over thousand of years. M2-9, a butterfly planetary nebula 2100 light-years away shown in epresentative colors, has wings that tell a strange but incomplete tale. In the center, two stars orbit inside a gaseous disk 10 times the orbit of Pluto. The expelled envelope of the dying star breaks out from the disk creating the bipolar appearance. Much remains unknown about the physical processes that cause planetary nebulae.

From APOD (Astronomy Picture of the Day)

Cloudy Brazil & Moon – From Space + Edwin Way Teale & Me

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Time and space – time to be alone, space to move about – these may well become the great scarcities of tomorrow. ~ Edwin Way Teale

So – carve some time and space for yourself today ~ Me